“You are no good, all your friends and mates are married, have children and are doing well. What’s the matter with you, why can’t you get your life together? The most annoying thing is that you pray, fast all the time, are you the only one here, why are you so unlucky, I don’t think God loves you, just go worship some deity maybe you will have better luck with it. Useless girl, good for nothing, I almost regret the day I had you, look at Gloria’s mum, she came to my shop the other day and was telling me how Gloria is coming to take her to the city to live because she has just built a house for her mother and is buying her a car and getting a driver, you remember Gloria, you both played right here in our compound, her parents were so poor she had to eat here most times. When you came 1st in class she will come 20 something, now look at your life and you both live in that city, why is yours different. By the way what are you doing here, this nonsense material and provisions you bought me, is that what I want to eat. I beg go away, don’t come back until, you have something worthwhile to discuss or show me”
“Mama, Mama, why do you hate me? Please don’t give up on me, I know everything will be alright, the God I serve will never forsake me, his times are not our times, please Mama be patient with me, I love you”
I sat in my apartment thinking back at what my mother had said to me 4 weeks ago when I went to see her back in the village. I couldn’t understand why she would say those terrible things to me her only child, my father, God bless him, was a kind and compassionate man. He would lay hands on me and prophesy all the great things God had ordained for me, he died a year ago from a motorbike accident. Ever since then my mother has gotten worse, she keeps complaining about living in the village, she’s lonely, she wants me to get married, buy a house so she can come to live with me. She wants to travel abroad like her friend, Benjamin’s mum, who was flown to America to take care of her son’s children. She wants to go to London like Jessica’s mum, who goes and comes like it’s just the next city. She wants to wear the latest lace, expensive gold, shoes and bags. But I cannot afford all that now besides am not married.
Am 31, not married, no children, don’t own a house nor a car. I do however have a job, not well paid though and not where I should be. I have a 1st class in business administration, I have a master’s in business management, I have gone for the manager’s programme at business school. But am still a checking clerk at the Bank. Yes I work in a bank but what am I doing there, I should be a bank manager.
Joan, Yewande, Teni and I all finished university at the same time. Looking back at our lives I do see what my mum is saying.
Joan, she is a lawyer, works with her hubby, they have been married for 6 years and have 2 children. Yewande, a business graduate like me, she relocated to the UK, works with a huge multinational company flying all around the world, and she’s Successful and happily married with children. Teni, she’s a supermodel, she’s on every catwalk you can think of and she is also happily married with a son. Moi, single, not happy with my job, lonely, hated by my mum, borderline frustrated.
My mum is right, I do pray and fast every time, I was a size 12, I shrunk to a size 8, due to all this fasting and praying. Why can’t I get a husband? It’s not as if I don’t socialize, am always at weddings, birthday parties, church and co. but none of them seems interested in me, what’s wrong with me. The other day, Edward my married colleague at work, suggested I go to a white garment church to get my head washed when I complained to him. Am asking myself if I should consider that.
All this journey down memory lane, feeling sorry for myself was in December three years ago, then fast forward to this year, early in January, I had just turned 34, and my life took a new turn. I was fired from work, the Bank was downsizing and I was brought down to size. Paid 2 months’ salary and a thank you for your service reference, I found myself out of work and completely miserable but thankfully still on the borderline of total frustration. I resorted to fast and pray again, but this time about God’s will for my life. I felt I had been asking God for what I wanted and doing it my way, based on my own ability and it got me nowhere, so let’s try this Gods way.
Last week in January, I went for a friends 40th birthday party. He was my neighbor in the apartment block I lived in. married with 2 children, his wife and I were friends but she recently relocated to Canada with the children, he was still back here, waiting to work out his contract with his present employer. His friends had insisted he celebrate this birthday because it was significant. They organized everything.
I arrived right on time as was my usual practice, final touches were still being done at the lounge where it was being held. Bolaji one of his friends spotted me as I walked in and came over. He apologized for the ‘African time’ factor, led me to a seat and said he will be right back. A few minutes later he was back with a snack platter and a bottle of Baileys. I smiled, thanked him and said I didn’t drink alcohol, besides I would wait until the party started before I ate. He smiled and said, no way, I got here first and need to at least taste his baking to see if it meets my standard. I was taken aback, “You baked these?” I asked, pointing to the array of snacks on the platter. “Yes, I bake, cook and own this joint”. Secondly, I asked why my opinion mattered. He smiled and said, “you will find out soon enough” and he turned around and went back to moving some seats around. As he walked off, I tried not to stare but my eyes kept wondering to him, he was so sweet, soft-spoken, handsome, tall and had a sense of humor, my kind of guy, why couldn’t God just give me him?
The party was great, I sat with this four single ladies who spent the whole evening gossiping about all the guys, one told me Bolaji was happily married, which was a shame because he was my spec. I had so much fun, didn’t see much of Bolaji, between him being dragged around by a lady I guessed was his wife and being the host, he was really busy attending to everyone, I was a bit disappointed he didn’t come back to see me but I brushed it off, consoling myself that he was married anyway, where could it lead.
Two weeks into February, my neighbor knocked on my door just as I arrived back home from looking for work. I opened the door, he apologized for disturbing me and asked if I was busy on the coming Saturday, I asked why he said a friend was opening his restaurant and he felt I might like to go. I had nothing to do anyway, so I obliged. He said we would leave around 4 pm. On Saturday I was ready, wore a nice Ankara dress with sandals and had my hair in a ponytail. We arrived around 3.55pm and this time most people were already seated. The friendly waiter led us to a table with 2 other people already sitting on it. Drinks were served immediately. On the dot of 4pm, the owner came out and wow!!, it was Bolaji, he looked at me winked and said “Today marks 2 significant events in my life, one am opening my dream restaurant and 2, I have a surprise for you all. First I want to thank a beautiful young lady who taught me how to keep my time British, instead of African, hence the start at 4 pm as stated”. After he paused, everyone cheered and clapped. He got off the makeshift stage and walked in the direction of our table and came up towards me, stopped in front of me and ……(pause) let me fast forward a bit.
My mum was sited next to me, talking to 2 little girls, offering them sweets and asking them to please stop asking her questions. The journey was long and she needed to sleep so that she will feel fresh once she arrived. But no way they were so excited and kept asking her all sorts….
That’s life for you, it doesn’t matter how late you start, the point is you started, it doesn’t matter what your mates, siblings, friends are doing, your time will come and when it does, God will crown all your efforts with success. Well, that day Bolaji knelt down in front of me, in the presence of everyone and proposed to me. He said the first day I walked into his lounge he knew I was the one, he had met me once before in our apartment building when he came to see his friend but I completely ignored him, I also felt he was married, he wasn’t, the lady clinging to him was his twin sister, we both laughed and he said Today he’s not letting me get away again, I got up from my seat, with tears running down my eyes, at this time everyone was holding their breath, waiting for what I would say, I looked into his eyes , smiled and whispered “Yes I will Marry you” The whole room erupted, everyone was clapping and cheering, Bolaji lifted me up and gave me the most amazing, sweet kiss ever, he held onto me like I was going to vanish if he let me go, I was so shocked and happy at the same time. Surprise surprise, we were married 3 months later.
It’s been 8 years now, we have a 7-year-old son and twin daughters who are 5, and we are currently on a flight to Orlando Florida, in America, with my mum. She has since moved to the city to live with us.Bolaji and I are very Blessed, happy and successful, we have restaurants and lounges all over the country which we run together.
God Almighty has Promises in store for me, I was just in a hurry, the lesson I’ve learned is, God’s promises will always be fulfilled in our lives if we believe and have faith but only in his own time, all we’ve got to do is wait…….
IN HIS TIME
Children are very vulnerable , be careful who you trust with them.
Children are very vulnerable , be careful who you trust with them. People who live in your house, house helps, friends and relations , some of them end up being your child’s abuser, here is a true story- a father came home and found his female house help in his sons bed, his son was 8, she had her pants down, the little boy was lying on top of our with no pants either, she was trying to get him to make love to her, he could not believe his eyes. When questioned the little boy said it had been going on for a while and that the house help threatened that if he told anybody she will starve him and then make him disappear, he believed her, because she took care of him all day long. Please be mindful, teach your kids to always talk to you if anyone touches or says anything inappropriate to them……
THE ONE FOR ME..
Hello! It’s great to see that you are reflecting on important questions about relationships and personal growth. It’s true that each person is unique and has their own journey to follow. While it’s natural to admire qualities in our parents or others, it’s important to recognize that we cannot simply emulate their lives or experiences.
Finding a partner who is compatible with us is about more than just finding someone who has qualities similar to our parents or other role models. It’s about finding someone who shares our values, interests, and goals, and who can support us as we grow and change over time.
It’s also important to remember that relationships require effort and commitment. If we want to have a successful relationship, we need to be willing to put in the work to make it thrive. This means being honest with ourselves and our partners about our needs, communicating openly and respectfully, and being willing to compromise and make sacrifices when necessary.
So, to answer your question, if you are truly committed to achieving your desired outcome, you need to be willing to put in the effort and make the necessary changes in yourself and in your approach to relationships. Remember, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and to find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are.
I wish you all the best.
I will testify:
Mathew 10:32
‘’So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven’’.We have received several request to publish testimonies about people who have been through trials and tribulations, but have successfully found favor with God and overcame. From tomorrow we will publish testimonies on our page. If you would please like us to publish yours, please send it as a message, names can be withheld at your request. Your testimony will go a long way to encourage someone going through a similar situation and will glorify God.
Thank you.
HERE IS PROSPERITY..
God gave me the opportunity last week to meet an amazing young woman. She a graduate of business , looking for a job for a while decided to go into petty trading . She had taken the little savings she had, bought the goods . She got up early every morning , went to the street corner to sell. Not minding her graduate status . she sat at the street corner with local uneducated women selling her product everyday.
Ms M, who walked by the street corner on her way to and from work became her favourite customer, she loved to patronise her , not because she knew she was a graduate , but because her product always tasted fresh , she looked clean and very neat, compared to other sellers of the same product around her.
Ms M, coincidentally worked in a food processing company, several months later the company was looking for supplies of that particular product in very large quantities. She remembered the woman at the corner and recommended her to the company .
The day the woman came to the company, I was there , she sat at the reception , looking very dignified. As I walked in something struck me about her confidence and poise. I stopped , sat down next to her and asked her how she was doing? She responded politely .
I asked how business was ? ! she said “fine, am just selling this product to while away the time, am looking for a job Ma and I want to go for my masters”. What she said at the end even made me smile a lot more, she said , “I also want to dress like all the celebrates , look good and drive nice cars” .
I looked at her for a minute and God began to speak through me , I said ” young woman , why are you looking for a job , when God has already given you a job, from this product you sell, God is about to give you a contract to supply products worth millions. From this product , you can build houses, buy cars , go for your masters , even go into export, package the product and sell in stores and the best part is you are the CEO of your own company. What are you still looking for?”
She looked at me and smiled, she said ” Thank God for you, I actually had a dream that I would sell this product, just before I started , in the dream I was selling and lots of money was coming into my hand. , I just feel it’s a lower level job and beneath me ” .
For a lot of us , God has already provided a job for us , but we still see it as a temporary stop-gap, beneath us or not what we want to do. What we should be doing, is see how we can bring it up to our level. Our prosperity could be in what we are doing now. Your education and exposure will give you the ability to refine and take the service or product to a different level.
May God Almighty , open our eyes to see what he has already provided before us and to see the potentials in it. God will grant you favour with Man and with God and whatsoever you lay your hands on will prosper, by the grace of God. Amen.
Good morning ….
BETRAYED; By so called best friend
As I stood outside my best friend’s door, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness in my heart. It was hard to accept that the one person I trusted the most had betrayed me. My mind was racing as I thought back to all the times we had shared together, the laughter, the tears, and the secrets.
But as I stood there, I began to realize something that I had overlooked before. My best friend always seemed to have the perfect life. Whenever I complained about something, my best friend’s response was always, “That could never happen to me.” And while I confided in my best friend with all my deepest secrets, my best friend never did the same in return. It was always about giving advice, but never about sharing.
It was a harsh reality to accept, but I knew I had to face it. We were both married, but while I had been happy up until a few hours ago, my best friend’s marriage had never been happy. My best friend’s advice had been nothing but empty promises, and I had fallen for it.
It all started when I went to my best friend to complain about some things that my partner wouldn’t do, but that I expected to be done. My best friend suggested that I set an ultimatum, saying that it would never happen in their own relationship. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but it had disastrous consequences.
When my partner didn’t meet the ultimatum, my best friend advised me to look for an alternative. I foolishly listened and did just that. It was a decision I would regret for the rest of my life.
And then, as if fate was mocking me, I showed up at my best friend’s house unannounced, only to hear the same things I had been told could never happen in their home. My best friend just stood there, taking it all and apologizing. It was then that I realized my best friend had never truly had my back, and had only wanted to see me end up disgraced, ashamed, and unhappy.
All the little signs of envy my best friend had shown when I talked about my relationship suddenly became clear. The little remarks about revenge, not apologizing first, and demanding what I wanted were all misleading. I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t.
Now, as I head back to make up with my partner, I know who my only true friend is. It’s not my best friend. Instead, it’s God Almighty. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way, but I’m grateful for it. I will never put my trust in someone who only pretends to have my back. Instead, I will trust in the one true friend who will never let me down.
I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Have you ever pondered on the legacy you’ll leave behind when you’re no longer here? Have you considered how you want to be remembered and the impact you want to have made during your time on earth?
Are you simply coasting through life, indulging in self-centered pleasures and treating others with disdain or condescension based on their social standing?
Do you mistreat people, speak to them disrespectfully, and only choose to associate with those who meet your standards of worthiness?
Are you truly embodying the values of your faith, whether it be Christianity or Islam, in a way that inspires others to come closer to God or causing them to run away in fear?
Do people have to jump through hoops before they can ask for your help or assistance?
Alternatively, are you actively working towards leaving a positive legacy for future generations?
Are you impacting lives positively wherever you go, inspiring others to serve the same God you serve?
Do you treat others with kindness, generosity, care, and respect, knowing that people will remember how you made them feel long after they’ve forgotten what you gave them?
Remember, you were born to thrive, irrespective of your background, and God has ordained you to prosper and be a blessing in all that you set your mind to. You must strive to achieve your goals, sow seeds of positivity wherever you go, and impact the lives of those around you every single day.
It’s time to reflect on your purpose if you haven’t already and start making positive changes. A life without purpose is like a journey without leaving a trail. When you’re gone, people will not remember anything you owned, but they will remember the mark you left on their lives.
It’s not too late to change your ways. Pick up a pen today and write down the kind of legacy you want to leave behind. Then, take actionable steps towards achieving that legacy. Let it be said by future generations that YOU came, saw, and conquered.
May God bless you as you strive towards leaving a positive impact. Good morning.
WHY, MUM? Scene 2
“Why, Mum?”
Cast: Mrs. P – Mum Pam – Daughter Kate – Maid Grace – Pam’s friend Mr. P – Dad Kenny – Pam’s boyfriend
Scene 2: Pam and Kenny at Kenny’s House
Pam: Kenny, when is your Mum coming around?
Kenny: She’s coming this weekend. I need to stock up on food before she arrives.
Pam: Can’t we just take her out to eat?
Kenny: My mum would never agree to that. She taught me how to cook when I was just ten. She’ll expect home-cooked meals every day.
Pam: It’s a good thing you can cook. I don’t cook. What’s the point when we can just hire a maid once we’re married?
Kenny: I don’t mind, but if you’re going to meet my mum, she’ll expect you to offer to cook her lunch or dinner while she’s here.
Pam: Seriously? I’ll just politely tell her that I don’t cook.
Kenny: No, you can’t. If you still want to marry me, that would be a big mistake.
Pam: What do you mean? Are you marrying my cooking or me?
Kenny: Of course, I’m marrying you. But it’s just expected that every woman should know how to cook. My mum is from the old school, and she won’t find it funny if you tell her you don’t cook. She might even tell me not to marry you.
Pam: Because I can’t cook?
Kenny: Yes, it’s a big issue. A good wife must be able to take care of her family, and cooking is an essential skill for her, and for most parents. Haven’t you heard the proverb, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’?
Pam: Is that the way to your heart?
Kenny: No, my love. I wish you could cook or at least be willing to learn, but I love you dearly, and I want to marry you. We’ll get a chef once we’re married.
Pam: But that still doesn’t solve the problem of your Mum’s visit.
Kenny: Don’t worry, baby. I have a plan. Let’s go out for lunch, and we’ll discuss it on the way.
To be continued tomorrow…