Life is about the choices you make and creating yourself. What’s your purpose? where are you going? what are you doing?. Are you sitting back and letting life pass you by? Do you always see disappointments as tragedy’s or blessings? Did you know that when one door closes another one opens, or do you spending too much time looking at the closed door that you don’t notice the other open doors?. There comes a time in life when you have to choose between taking the next step forward of staying put in the past. What are you going to do? remember, it is said that Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. So make the decision today, to step into your future, make the right choice, recreate your self and begin to live life and don’t let life live you.
CULTURE CHANGE
DESTINY CHILD
How many of you have been derailed from your destiny because your parents wouldn’t allow you to study what you wanted in school .
A lot of the time , as parents we believe that the set backs we have in life can be ratified by our children , we want to live our dreams through them . Forgetting that they are individuals with their own ordained destiny. We feel that we can only be proud parents when our children are lawyers , doctors and engineers . I have seen parents too ashamed to say , when asked what their child is studying in university , because in the eyes of the world it’s not a prestigious enough course.
Please don’t misunderstand me, there is absolutely nothing wrong in guiding your children towards the right career path, all you want to see them do is succeed. it’s one of your duties as a good parent , your child confides in you, you know their potential , so if your child wants to be a chemical engineer and hates chemistry , then it is your responsibility to let him or her down gently and suggest an alternative career path based on the child’s abilities and interests .
Now, this brings me back to the issue of ‘WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY’ ( full write up on our webpage ) ,Some parents will say ” how can you study English , what will people say , Mr and Mrs P’s son is studying Law, Mrs D’s daughter is studying medicine , why are you doing this to us, do you want to disgrace us ” and so on and so forth. Blackmailing the poor child into submission. Some even go as far as threatening to disown their child if he or she does not study what they want..
Then there are the parents who ignorantly derail their children’s destiny by insisting he or she must study what they studied, so they can take over the running of their business . I personally know someone who studied Medicine even owns a no of hospitals but today is a business man, architect and a property developer and he is doing extremely well. I once asked him how come he spent so many years in university studying medicine only to now be an architect and a property developer . He looked at me smiled and began to tell me his story …..
He (Jimmy) is the first born son of his parents ,he has an elder sister and two younger brothers . His father was a real traditional man who believed the first born male child was the head of the household . His father was a medical doctor , so as far as his dad was concerned , Jimmy was born to be a doctor like him, to take over all the hospitals he owned . Jimmy was geared towards becoming a doctor from an early age , his parents even called him JD (Junior Doctor.)
When he got into high school , he went on an excursion to Italy, while his friends went to the amusement park , he spent his time admiring the great Italian architecture , he was so fascinated by them, that he vowed to develop properties once he graduated from college.
When he got back home , he told his mum his dream , she would not hear of it , she gave him a stern warning never to discuss this in front of his father unless he wanted to give him a heart attack. ” You were born to be a doctor ” his mother said. With the fear in mind , that he might kill his father, he bottled his dream. Years went by he graduated became a doctor , took over the running of his father’s hospitals . Some years down the line his father died.
Once this happened and he was sure he would not be the cause of his father’s death by heart attack , Jimmy , handed over all the hospitals to a management company , went back to university to study architecture . Today he is one of the biggest property developers in his country. He concluded by saying at least I did what the ‘ old man ‘ wanted.
As parents we sometimes fail to see that as custodians , our child’s destiny has been ordained by God and God’s design is always perfect and will surely take them to greater heights. We are meant to guide them.
Look around you , people become very successful business owners, bank MD’s , academicians , inventors , ministers , governors , sports people , Actors even Presidents of countries all of them successful in their chosen careers. , the list goes on and on and almost all of them are not lawyers, doctors or engineers.
It is imperative that you do not derail your child’s destiny . Commit your child into Gods hands let him take control , pray for your child and all that God has ordained for your child will be fulfilled , by the grace of God Almighty.
And I know you would be very proud of your child, once God’s will for him or her is done,
Good morning……..
BLEEDING HEART-Social media folly
As I sat there reading the new post from BJ, my boyfriend’s cousin, I realized I was actually reading a suicide note. I called her number, it was switched off, then I called my boyfriend Ahmed, her cousin and I knew she was gone, he picked up the phone, sobbing, “she’s gone, BJ is gone…..”There was dead silence, then he said “I’ll call you back” and dropped the phone. My mouth was ajar as I went back to the post from BJ that had just popped on my screen, it reads thus:
“Dear lovely friends, as you read this I most likely will be with my maker if I got it right. I thought it was time I go see him. At least now I can have the rest we are promised in church when we die and go to heaven, I should think I will go to heaven, I was nice enough, everybody loved me complimented me, My pictures got more loves than likes, hundreds commented on how beautiful and how lucky I was. I had thousands of followers as some people followed me every single minute of every single day. As soon as my pictures or videos hit my Facebook page or Instagram, it went viral.
I remember the day I posted my swimsuit pictures within an hour I got 12000 loves, 11000 likes and 14 marriage proposals. It was so great in the end, I had a total of 58,000 loves and likes combined. I felt on top of the world.
I never wanted to put my phone down, but I just had to and that’s when the problems began, I needed their comments and loves to make me feel worthy.
What about my parents you may ask? Well, where do I start? Daddy dearest is an investment banker, I get to see him only during the weekends. Before I wake up on Saturday he’s off to play golf, gets back around 1 pm, has a shower and he’s off to the club yet again, by the time he gets back, I am already in bed, he pops his head through the door to say Goodnight, if I am still awake.
On Sundays, we manage to go to church together if he is around, then he stays behind in church for one elder’s meeting or the other, the driver has to take me home while my mum has sisters or women of substance, meet.
My darling mum is a businesswoman, a contractor and a consultant. She tried her best and got me the best au pair Nanny money could get. She is French, a nice woman who has worked with various American movie stars. She practically raised me, took me to France with her on holiday because my parents couldn’t stay with me when she had her leave, so she was asked to take me along. I could speak French and Italian, cook and clean, all taught by my French nanny Emmanuella.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents tried, they put me in the best schools, we lived in a very big house, I had my room, study, we had a pool and home theatre in the house. But so many things were missing.
For one, my parents erroneously felt money and material things could make up for their love, affection, attention, discipline, and upbringing. I had all that money could buy. A car at 16, a block of 6 luxury flats built-in my name. Clothes from the best designers in the world, Shoes from Ferragamo. Bags from Gucci to Ralph Lauren, over 300,000 dollars in my savings account, but I would have given all that up for my parents to spend some quality time with their only child.
As far back as I can remember, when I go up to my mum to ask for advice, she would smile, touch my face affectionately and say,” can’t you see am busy my heart, or I’m on my way out, my heart’, go ask Emmuanella to help you. That was the same line I got from my dad, “You know I am a man, speak to Emmanuella she will help you”.
I didn’t need Emmanuella, I had too many people willing to tell me on Facebook and Instagram, one of them was CHIKE. I met Chike on Instagram, he loved my picture and made a very sweet remark, the sweetest of all. Before long, he sent me his telephone number on Facebook and we got talking on WhatsApp. He was good-looking, handsome and funny. We would chat for hours. Even when I was in school, I was busy chatting with Chike instead of studying.
Our lives were similar, he claimed, he was an only child and felt we could keep each other company. He asked me where I lived. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him, so I went to ask my dad, but that day he was on his way to meet his friends at the club, he asked me to ask my mum. She was on her way to a friends party, she asked me to ask Emmanuella, who then said since I had no friends it would be nice to have one come over, so I asked him over. I lied to Emmanuella that it was a girl.
Emmanuella stayed in the guest chalet and before she left at 9 pm she asked if my friend and I would be okay? I said yes, I had asked Chike to come around 9.30 pm, cos I knew since I turned 16, Emmanuella retired early, saying I was a big girl now and she didn’t need to watch me go to bed. She believed I was responsible enough so off she went.
At 9.30, Chike arrived, the first thing that was wrong, he was older than his picture, he looked 16 just like me, when he arrived he was like 20 something. He made an excuse that the picture was taken when he was younger. He came in, we sat in the living room and ate the dinner I had reserved for him. After dinner, he asked if we had wine, I said yes, but I had never drunk before, he said not to worry, I will get used to it. That evening, I tasted my first wine, not a lot though. Chike kissed me, at first I was reluctant, then he kissed me again, touched my bossom, and it felt good, so I kissed him some more, just when I was getting into it he said he had to leave before my parents got back. I didn’t want him to, I begged him to stay, but he left anyway.
That night I relived the kiss and the caressing over and over, I felt butterflies in my belly, I hadn’t felt them before. What was happening to me? I took to my Facebook page and asked what it meant when someone had butterflies in their tummy after a kiss. So many responses came in, most said it was love. So I asked what happens between a man and a woman when they are in love and I got loads of responses, most said Making love was the next step.
Making love? I was 16, will turn 17 in a month, I had never made love. I knew about it, but all my love was on Instagram and Facebook, never with a physical being.
The next week Chike didn’t pick my calls nor did he call me back, I was aching all over, my heart hurt so much. No one to talk to about this, then I got a message from one of my fans asking why they hadn’t heard from me for a while. So I forgot Chike and went back to posting pictures and my videos, tried so hard to forget Chike. Three weeks later, I got a call from Chike, he was so apologetic, claimed his phone got lost and he had to retrieve his number and that’s when he got back my phone number, he asked me to meet him at home the next day which was a Friday.
That day, the driver dropped me at the school gate, I watched him leave, then I called the school office, pretended to be my mum and left a message saying, I was ill and wouldn’t be in school until Monday. That sorted, I walked down the block to a hotel and got a car hire to take me to Chike’s address.
The address was in a part of town I had never been before, most of my travels, centred on the island, school, home, cinemas, and shops all with Emmanuella or the driver. Recently my cousin Ahmed had come to town for youth service, so he would pick me to the cinema once or twice a month.
When we finally arrived at Chike’s house about an hour later, I got down from the taxi and called Chike, he told me to wait and in 3 minutes he came out of the house opposite where I was standing. Invited me in. it was not the sort of place I was used to, but I needed this to work out and more importantly, I needed Chike to like me, so I smiled a lot and nodded my head, so I won’t look too nervous.
Once inside, he served me fried rice with chicken and a box of pineapple juice. That was the last thing I remembered until I woke up in a taxi that evening driving me back home. When I ask how I got in the Taxi, the driver said my brother had hired him to take me back home on the island. At that time, I had a terrible headache and my under hurt so much. I sat there tears rolling down my eyes, trying to recollect what went on in the house but I couldn’t.
I got home just as the driver was reporting to Emmanuella he didn’t see me in school when he came to pick me up. I told her a friend had dropped me. I went straight up to my room. My under was bleeding and I saw scratches all over my body, my arms and legs ached so much. My tummy was rumbling. Just then I vomited violently on my bedroom floor. Emmanuella came in and ran a bath, she thought I just had a fever, she made me a lemon and honey tea and out chamomile in the bath water and asked me to sit in it.
I was in there for more than an hour, when I came out the bleeding had stopped and I felt better. I put on my PJ’s and laid on the bed. I must have fallen asleep when I woke up around 5 am, I had so many messages from an unknown no on my WhatsApp. I opened the pictures and I passed out.
When I woke up a few minutes later, I went back to my WhatsApp and scrolled through, picture after picture a different guy was on top of me, defiling me, I counted 6, the last picture was a video and it showed all of them forcefully making love to me. Then a message said pay 2 million into this account or this pictures and videos will show up on your Facebook and Instagram page. I screamed, pulled out my bank token and transferred immediately.
I had 10 million in my account which I inherited from my paternal grandfather when he died, every week the same message will come in asking for money and I transferred, lived in fear they might post it, I was so depressed and sad, my mum thought it was just teenage matters, my dad asked me to snap out of it, Emmanuella was worried but I couldn’t tell her, it was too shameful, if the pictures ever got out, it would ruin me I thought.
After I had exhausted every penny in my account, I got another message asking for 5 million this time, I explained, I had to ask my father and he would want to know what I needed it for. He was out of the country, they would give me a week. They refused and said I should watch out for it in 2 days on my page.
Well, I guess I couldn’t wait to see it, I didn’t want to be alive to see all my fans call me names, hate me and read all those comments about me and God knows what else would be said. Who’s going to believe my side of the story. How could they see me this way? , so the best way is to take my life in my own hands.
Am sorry, don’t be mad at me, Mum, Dad, I love you, but it seemed like I was an inconvenience right from the get-go, you didn’t really plan to have me disrupt your lives, so I better get a stepping back to where I came from. I couldn’t let you see me the way Chike portrayed me, I love you and I can’t wait for us to be together all the time. I’ll wait for you patiently with God Almighty and find the peace, comfort, and joy I’ve always craved.
Your lovely daughter
‘My heart’, as you both fondly called me. “
I couldn’t believe it, she was the best, I loved her, I could even say I was jealous, she got all the attention, love and admiration I craved. I used to imagine myself in her shoes, with fantastically rich parents, all that money, a BMW car, designer clothes and the latest phones. She posted pictures of her travels all around the world with her French nanny. Her videos and pictures gave us all something new and exciting to look forward to every day. And now it’s all over, just like that, I still cannot believe it, it is like a dream, is this how it all ends?? She had written the post a week ago, it had one of those time delay sets on it, you could write today and set a date next week when the post should go live, she had done just that. Announcing her end to the world just as she did when she was Alive? BJ my Hero, we will miss you, you left us too soon, may your beautiful soul rest in perfect peace.
WHAT DO WE CALL LOVE..
Good morning ,
i found this really interesting , I would like to share it with you….
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
What is more painful is to love someone and never have the courage to let them know how you feel.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before we meet the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we would know how to be grateful for that gift.
Love is when you take away the feelings, the passion and romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person.
A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to realise in the end that it’s just not meant to be and you just have to let go
When the door of happiness closes another door opens but at times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one that has just been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the friend you can just be with never say a word, then walk away feeling it was the best conversation you ever had.
It is true that we don’t know what we have until we loose it but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back,don’t expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart. But if it doesn’t be content it grew in yours.
There are things that you would love to hear but never Hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don’t be deaf to hear it from the one who says it from their heart.
Never say good bye if you still want to try, never give up if you still feel you cant go on without them, never say you don’t love someone anymore if you can’t let go.
Love comes to those who still hope, although they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe although they’ve been betrayed, to those who still love although they’ve been hurt before and to those who have the courage and faith to build trust again.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone. And a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Don’t go for looks , they deceive, dont go for wealth, that fades away,go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day bright .
Hope you all find someone that makes you smile.
CLOSED FOR BUSINESS, UNTIL .
Dear Ladies ,
Carrying a sign and wearing a t-shirt closed for business, until….. , I was accosted by several people asking me what business do I do that’s closed and until when? . I smiled and began to explain..
My body is the business that’s closed and it will remain closed until I get married .
I have learned to protect everything I own , for example –
My car, I fitted it with the most reliable expensive tracking system I could buy, it also says ” step away from the perimeter , you are violating my space”…lol
My designer handbags , I have Special holding cover cloths for them.
My jewellery , tucked away safely in a safety deposit box in my bank .
I could go on and on….
But what happens to my body. I ‘ONCE UPON A TIME’ walked around with micro mini skirts, bum shorts , halter neck tops , strapless tops exposing both my long legs and big boobs, thinking that made me sexy and attractive but what did it get me ?, all sorts of perverts and playboys who just wanted their own fill , ‘hit and run’ as my mum called it and leave me heart broken .
I have learnt my lesson the hard way, dumped and picked over and over, I have nothing to show for it , no more , I got rid of all my ‘display on the shelve ‘ packaging for my body and bought some ‘closed for business , until…’ Packaging , also got a change of attitude, began to realise my body is the temple of God and must not be defiled.
It’s a shame that we protect the things we think are valuable to us but what could be more valuable than our precious bodies.
Ladies, trust me on this , Men will be friends with you when you are constantly ‘open for business’ , just to satisfy their immediate need,on the other hand you will definitely attract wonderful, kind, generous and God fearing men, if you “stay closed for business” , they will wait on the queue until you open , the same way we all wait overnight for a Black Friday sale .God bless you as you make the decision ….. .
Good morning ……
REINVENTING
Reinventing yourself is not about creating something entirely new but rather making significant changes to appear new. To achieve this, you must first identify who you are, what needs changing, and become comfortable with who you are. Reinventing yourself involves becoming a better and newer version of yourself by changing your personal brand.
Do you often feel left behind or inferior, and everyone around you seems better than you? Have you tried praying, fasting, or seeking the help of prophets and priests, yet nothing seems to change? Perhaps it’s time to reinvent yourself.
To reinvent yourself, you need to figure out what you want to be and take a look at people you admire for their good traits. If you have anger issues, can’t forgive, or are rude and proud, start by cultivating endearing qualities such as kindness, respect, humility, and being pleasant.
Take a look at your qualifications and determine if learning new skills or taking courses could help. If you’re interested in business, become an apprentice or intern on the job you like. Practice speaking well and improve your pronunciation using the phonetic app.
Wear clothes that suit your body structure, not based on their cost. A simple hairstyle, clean and well-manicured nails, and good hygiene go a long way in making you feel great and attracting people to you.
Change your friends if they are a bad influence on you or discouraging you from thinking big or out of the box. Surround yourself with people who are smarter, more intelligent, and more experienced to learn from them.
How do you make decisions and choices? Who influences them? These are crucial questions that can determine the path your life takes. To reinvent yourself, it is important to reevaluate this process and make necessary changes.
One way to make better decisions is by seeking out people who are smarter and more experienced than you. Surrounding yourself with such individuals will expose you to new ideas, perspectives, and knowledge, which can help you make more informed decisions. It is said that if you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room.
However, the ultimate decision-making power lies with you. It’s important to understand that the choices you make are a reflection of who you are and what you stand for. To reinvent yourself, you must take responsibility for your decisions and make a conscious effort to align them with your desired outcome.
Reinventing yourself is a process of becoming a new person, someone you can be proud of. It involves fine-tuning your strengths and improving upon your weaknesses. This process takes time, patience, determination, and perseverance.
It’s important to remember that you cannot completely escape who you are, but you can work towards becoming the best version of yourself. With the help of God Almighty and the necessary qualities, you can achieve the personal brand you desire.
In conclusion, the journey to reinventing yourself starts with taking the first step. It may be challenging, but with hard work, determination, and patience, you can achieve your desired outcome. Remember that you are amazing, and you have what it takes to become the person you want to be.
BETWEEN THE SHEETS
SIX childhood friends, meet every week to table and discuss life issues, dissect and find solutions to these everyday life issues….Today is “Between the sheets”…
…What’s love got to do with it? That was the question everyone was asking.
Franny had just said if you love each other as a couple whether you knew how to do it well or don’t shouldn’t matter.
Goke disagreed, he felt a relationship without good sex could not sustain itself, the relationship would implode, were the exact words he used.
Kate had a different opinion, I married my man as a virgin, he was the virgin while I was the Pro, I taught him how I wanted to be touched and penetrated, the styles, My G-Spot and All. Today he is an expert.
Dotun smiled and said, “Hmmm, I would not want my wife to teach me, I am supposed to be the one teaching her, that’s why I can’t marry an experienced girl”.
Franny laughed and asked where Dotun was going to find an inexperienced girl this day and age?
Dotun cockily answered her, “from my village of course”.
Everyone busted out laughing, “you must be a dreamer”.
Goke replied “…the village girl you want to take is an expert, all the local boys have passed her around and if she isn’t one yet, by the time she comes to Lagos and ‘opens eye’, she will be.
Kate interrupted “Well Goke, I think you are generalizing here, not all girls are like that, but I must agree that most are.
Muyi who had been quiet all along asked the pertinent question, “so ladies how do you like it best?? That is why we are here today, isn’t it?
Annie stood up and said, “well, we love foreplay first, the caressing of our breasts, the sucking and putting your penis on us gets us crazily in the mood and pretty moist down there”.
Kate smiled and said, “well we also love kissing, French kissing drives us really wild, tongue in the mouth rolled and to be tickled down there with your tongue, it’s the ultimate, tongue, penis, interchange”.
Franny hastily chipped in, “I was going there, once that’s done, then slowly lower yourself into me and am screaming for all to hear.
Annie: I like to be on top, that’s where I get to climax over and over again. I don’t get the same from my partner being on top.
Franny: Babes have you tried sideways? wow, that’s really great.
Kate: and to top it up with sitting on him, face to face, his Penis will reach right up to your throat..lol.
Muyi: (laughing) ahhhh!!!! Ladies, calm down, we are not that large and long, too much pressure here…
Kate: Well, size also matters but small sizes can also be totally enjoyed, just depends on the position you choose.
Franny: hmm… speaking of size, I hear operations can be done to reduce or enlarge the size of our vaginas.
Dotun: Yes it can but its cosmetic surgery and must be done with a professional.
Goke: Okay ladies, guys also have how we like it. Ladies should learn to go down on their man real good, an amazing blow job is enough to take you to cloud nine.
Muyi: yes, I Love her tongue in my ear, o my gosh it’s amazing, sometimes from that alone I come like instantly
Dotun: I love doing it while standing up, she shoots her bum back and am there pounding away my woman
Franny: okay guys all said and done, does marriage get happier when two lovers have a fantastic sex life??
Dotun: Of course it does, you are happier, stress-free and the love increases and waxes stronger
Muyi- “I also know when I have great sex, I am ready to do anything for my woman”
Goke: Isn’t it obvious? Haven’t you noticed that the best solution to a quarrel between a couple is to go to the bedroom have mad sex and at the end, everyone is happy??
Franny: well, I must say, that depends.
Muyi: on what?
Franny: On if the woman gets to climax.
Annie: you’ve just touched on a subject that makes so many married women miserable. Do you know I know people who hardly ever climax and some just fake it?
Kate: that never works for me, if my husband and I make love and we both don’t climax, we aren’t done yet, in fact, we aim to climax at the same time.
Dotun: but sometimes you ladies take forever to get there, we men try and try and in the end you still won’t climax
Franny: that’s probably because you are doing it wrong, if you take your fingers 2 inches into the vagina and you arouse the G-spot, your woman would definitely be climaxing right there on your fingers if you do it right.
Dotun: you guys are the married ones, you know am still searching so I need to learn how to keep her to myself so no other man will be pleasing my wife.
Annie: speaking of which, why are you guys so crazy about big boobs and big bums?
Goke: wow, that’s like a whole day’s discussion, can we discuss body parts next week, please??
Dotun: I second that, let’s discuss next week
Annie: how long have we been friend’s guys, since kindergarten, if not for relocations and life, we could all be married to each other, But all the same am glad our talks have saved most of our marriages.
Franny: Yes dear, I know, last year when I had issues with my mother in law, you guys gave me the best advice ever and now we are best of friends.
Goke: let’s not bring in in-laws now, cos I’ve got a case I need help with.
Annie: Okay guys when we get together next week, let’s continue our sex lessons, body parts and if we can squeeze in the in-laws, so be it. For now let’s go practice with our partners, what we’ve learned today…..
Be Happy..
The ability to experience happiness and joy is one of the most precious gifts that we have been given by God. It is said that the joy of the Lord is our strength at all times, and we must cherish and embrace it. However, we must understand that our happiness is our responsibility, and nobody else can love us more than we love ourselves.
To truly appreciate the beauty of our existence, we must see ourselves as the wonderful creation of God, loved unconditionally by Him. It is essential to recognize that what we possess or lack does not determine our worth, nor should it change our perception of ourselves. Our wealth, education, or family background do not define us, but rather our faith, character, and purpose do.
When we learn to love ourselves, we radiate a sense of joy and peace that attracts people towards us. We become confident in our identity, and others begin to notice the greatness in us. Therefore, it is crucial to stand tall, be proud of who we are, and believe that we can become anything that God has destined us to be.
As we go through the year, let us pray and ask the Lord to grant us our hearts’ desires. Let all the great things that He has planned for us manifest in our lives from now on. May we be blessed with abundance and success in all our endeavors.
May you have blessed and fruitful days ahead.
NEW BEGINNINGS -LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND
I recently had the opportunity to meet an amazing woman. She has had an exemplary career and is ranked among the 100 most successful women in her country today.
We started talking about this and that, and we got on to the topic of abuse. Baring in mind this woman is in her early 50’s, she suddenly opened up to me that she was abused as a teenager and has never told anyone before. She told me her story.
She grew up in an affluent household. A strong political father and a career mother. Her father was a chieftain of his political party, which meant political meeting late into the night at their home.
One faithful day she was alone in the house, the cook had gone to the market, the maid was out running errands, when one of her father’s political friends arrived to meet him. She let him in and told him her father had called earlier to ask him to wait, because he was on his way back home.
The father’s friend came in and sat down in the main living room, and she asked if he would like a drink. He replied, ” A glass of water will be nice.”
Once she brought the bottle of water, she opened it and poured it into a glass and as she had been taught, handed him the glass. All of a sudden, he grabbed her hand, removed the glass cup and pulled her close, while trying to kiss her. She was 15.
A struggled ensued, and she managed to break free, but not before he had touched her inappropriately. She ran into the kitchen and locked the door.
The reality of what he had done finally dawned on him. So he came to the kitchen door and started to plead with her to forgive him and to keep this between them. He offered to compensate her for this stress he caused, but she still didn’t open the door or say anything to him. Eventually, it dawned on him that her father might walk into the house anytime, he decided to leave some money at the door and left the house.
She heard the front door shut and his car pulls away. That when she came out of the kitchen and saw the brown envelope on the floor. Opened it and it was full of money. She quickly took it to her bedroom and hid it under her bed and never mentioned it to her parents or anyone else.
As an adult, the hurt was still there. Hadn’t forgiven the man and constantly blamed herself for allowing it to happen. Still struggling with blaming herself and feeling dirty. Also ashamed to speak to anyone about it. At some point she was depressed, stopped socialising with friends and became a shadow of herself. Until one day she read the story of a woman who had a similar experience, but never got over it and ended up living a lonely miserable life. She decided she didn’t want to end up like that.
At that point, she sort the help of a counsellor and with the help she stopped blaming herself. That marked the turning point in her life.
Her mindset changed, she fell in love with a wonderful man, and her career thrived. Leaving the past behind. Choosing to think positive and forgive the man and herself, changed her life. This marked the start of a new beginning in her life.